Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The "D" word

There is a subject I just feel the need to vent on. I've wanted to blow up my blog many a time on this subject, but I knew it would just not be pretty. Even though there is NOTHING pretty about this subject. Divorce. I am SO disgusted with it. Honestly, can selfish people who aren't willing to change and serve their spouses please just stop getting married? And if you do get married, please do not reproduce. First of all, divorce is not pleasing to the Lord. Period. You can just log onto facebook and see that someone who was married for half a second is now back to using their maiden name and their marital status has disappeared. What is going on? It seems like so many people get married, then say "oops, just kidding." And it was like it never happened. Huh?? Are we that flippant when we take our vows? I'm sorry when did "til Death do us part" turn into "til I am too lazy to try." I'm honestly flabberghasted when I see 2 people who CHOSE not to be committed to each other split up, do as they please and then continue to make their children jump through hoops. Hoops on the holidays, hoops on special occasions, hoops hoops hoops. You'd think the hoops end at 18. Not so much. I so wish I could just splatter my rage all over this blog so you could get a taste of how abhored I am by Divorce and the continual pain it causes, but we'll keep it to a minimum. Then you have situations that just come along and rip off the scab that you've worked so hard to begin to heal and they press a truckload of salt to it. Seriously? I URGE, BEG, PLEAD with you, parents, work on your marriages. Make them a priority. Marriage isn't a walk in the park for anyone, but you will totally be blessed by staying committed and putting the effort in. You may get a divorce and come out alright eventually and think your kids will just bounce right back or it wont affect them or it will be better this way or they wont remember, whatever it is you tell yourself, that may not be the case. I know some situations can be inevitable or what's done is done. If that's the case: be sensitive to your kids, not spoil them. Make them a priority. You have double the work cut out for you as a single parent. When they are adults, don't act entitled over their time because we now have 27 different families to accomodate on special occasions and holidays. My heart hurts so much EVERY time I see or hear of a couple splitting up and even more so when there are kids. I know God has a plan and a purpose for everything and I can even see blessings that have come out of my own parents divorce, but even at 25 years old there are some things that are just a struggle that 25 year old with married parents wouldn't have to deal with. I know the Lord is using these things to refine and mature me. I pretty much can't stand it with a royal passion, but I DO want to pass the test and I do want to be refined and molded more into the woman that the Lord has created me to be. How else could our faith really be tested or could we be molded if we weren't put into certain situations or certain people weren't placed in our life? I know one aspect of this learning process for me is that our heavenly father isn't going to let us down, or put us last on his list or remarry 6 times or only get to see us every other week. Nope, he's the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He died for us which pretty much sums up where we stand on his priority list and he is ALWAYS there. Easy to say, hard for me to constantly remember and stand on in times of discouragement and sadness. Just so you know this blog took a total right turn, thought it was just going to be a venting sesh, but it ended up bringing up promises I know, but don't always stand on. I do, however, know the more I get to know Him and the more time I spend with Him, my Jehovah Shalom, I am filled with joy, contentment & peace. I know things are still going to come and Rock me, and I know I just need to get back on my knees. Notice, I said "I KNOW" I need to do this, I didn't say I actually do it everytime I should. This week has definitely brought about some aggravating challenges that have rocked my spirit. Little Bit. I don't understand some of it, but I don't have to. I know I have a long ways to go, but it is comforting to know I have come a little ways, too, by the grace of God. I'm glad He's patient with me. :/

Monday, April 11, 2011

Raise the white flag.

My heart hurts so I decided to blog, not necessarily about my heart, but blog nonetheless. Might even cheer me up. I started using almond milk yesterday and I absolutley Love it. I was surprised at how much I liked it. I figure almond milk is one of the small adjustments I can make to my diet. I definitely want to start eating a little more healthy. It's not like we're the worst eaters, but a few switch ups can't hurt. So when we went to Sam's today I picked up ground turkey instead of ground beef which was actually .54 cents cheaper per pound. Kind of surprising. As far as exercise goes I was really good about doing the shred, but I got really burnt out on it and in the past my body has responded best to running. I did a short run this morning and then tonight we power walked with the kids in the stroller to Golden Spoon and back which is almost 4 miles round trip. Last night church was so moving. The worship, the message, the prayer time, it was indescribable. The Lord was definitely in our midst. Often times we talk about the hills and the valleys and as of right now in our life I don't consider us to be in a valley because when I look around I see so many hurting people for so many different reasons. I have dear friends literally fighting for their lives. Other people are fighting through major financial hurdles or other tough circumstances. I feel so very fortunate not to be dealing with those sorts of hardships right now. It's interesting how we are so different and the Lord sends circumstances that we just never saw coming just so we can learn to trust and rely on him even more. I'm beginning to see a pattern of a certain element in my life be stripped away, even more so in the last 6 months to a year. But I'm learning that He gives and he takes away. Before I would grip it so tight and scramble in chaos to hold on, but I've learned God's gonna do what God's gonna do and I'm learning to let go with dignity and grace and not act a fool and say "ok, God." He sees my heart crumbling, he sees every tear that falls and puts them in bottle. (psalm 56:8) I've also learned that me letting go allows God to work on me and even on others in ways that he wouldn't while I was all up in his grill. I have to tR.U.S.t (Rest Under Stress in between 2 crosses...thanks Monica) that the Lord is gonna handle it the way it needs to be handled. Sometimes it's pretty obvious why God allows things to happen and I get the message loud and clear. And sometimes I'm just dumbfounded. Really God, really? What is the purpose of that other than to crush my spirit? I am so pumped about what is going on at Lakeshore and in the lives of some family members and friends! God is moving some mighty ways. And FPU has been so awesome and such a blessing. With all these blessings are coming all these little attacks from the enemy. He knows just where to sucker punch to cause me to feel defeated, deflated and just plain crappy. Sometimes I just wanna raise the white flag, but that's not an option. I fight on. Romans 8:1-2 says "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." That's encouraging, it helps me scrape myself up off the floor. Somedays I truly feel like a fish swimming up stream. So glad the Lord's mercies are new every morning. I'm ready to put this day in the books. And I am raising the white flag not to the enemy but to the Lord. I know, same story, you got this. I'm learning. You began a good work in me and one day you'll complete it. My job is to know you. I want to know you.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

A couple things...

Our church is moving to a new location where we are going to need a few things for our children's ministry. I know I have a lot of mommy friends out there so please look through your stuff and see if any of the following that are in good condition that you might be willing to donate: 2 Baby play mats, with the stuff that hangs over them for baby to look at. 2 Baby bouncers, that they sit in and bounce in, with toys on them. 1 Baby gate for the entry door. Like the one at the church now. 1 Rocking chair 1 large area rug, bright color. Green or red or blue, etc. 1 Huge baby fence. (It's going to go inside the class to keep the kids and teachers in one area.) Any toys you can find that look like they are in good condition for the kids. Ages 0 to 2 years. Or any toys you wanna donate or friends, etc... Also, please check out our new blog for our business and become a follower! and please participate in our facebook and twitter campaign!! Thanks everyone! I promise, I'll write a more exciting blog some other